Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The two sides of Indian wedding ceremonies

In the past two weeks, I was in India attending my brother's wedding ceremony. As is usual with Indian weddings, the ceremony lasted for many days, in this case, five days. Many family members came from the four corners of the country. It is one of those opportunities when people can meet, even after not seeing each other for decades. From my perspective, it was even more interesting as it was the first time that I participated in such an event.

Each one of the five days could separated into two parts: the first part where the rituals and formalities happen and later after a dinner, the second part starts which consists mainly in a party where all dance and enjoy together. It is no surprise that the latter is the fun part, whereas the former is frankly very boring. Even though in western societies such (boring) rituals still happen, they basically consist of one ceremony where the couple exchange rings.
There is almost no more symbolism in such ceremony. In an Indian wedding, on the other hand, the symbolism and protocols involved are far greater.

In the first day, the engagement ceremony is performed and is organized by the bride's family. In such ceremony, the couple, seeming to adopt the western tradition, exchanges rings and later all the elders (and only the elders) give presents to the couple. Until then nothing really
shocking, except for the fact that from this day on the couple is no allowed to see each other until the wedding ceremony takes place. Moreover, there are always many protocols to follow. For instance, the groom is necessarily the last to arrive and is always accompanied by the best man, in this case me. For another example, when we were leaving the hotel for the engagement party, it was the duty of the groom's father to accompany all his brother-in-laws, for some mysterious reason!

In the second day, a ceremony called tikka happens which this time is organized by the groom's family. There some praying is done in the presence of the bride's family, but not the bride herself since the couple cannot meet yet. As with religious ceremonies in the west, Indian pujas are a waste of time. Even worst than in a church since the priest speaks most of the time in Sanskrit and therefore the public, at least me, has the faintest of what is going on. After this ceremony, the bride's family is supposed to give some gifts to some members of the groom's family, including to me.

The event in the third day was not actually part of the wedding ceremony, but was rather aimed to Andrea and me. It was in fact our (second) engagement party, but the real reason was mostly to present Andrea to the family. As I requested a very informal ceremony, nothing religious happened. (Thank god.) We just had the typical couple dance, and then the party started.

The wedding ceremony was performed in the fourth day. The symbolism is very clear. The groom is supposed to go to the bride's home and "bring" her to the groom's house. This is of course symbolic for saying that the bride belongs no longer to her original family, but to the groom's, which in my opinion is quite unfortunate symbolism. It just maintains the clan culture among families for which you can frequently hear in the language used by Indians. For example, one can often hear things like: "You are not of the family." or "He is family.", etc. Such type of language is almost not present anymore in cultures like in the German or Brazilian cultures. During the evening, there are at least four religious moments, some where the groom and also the bride visit temples and other are performed by the priest at the dinner reception. The most important one lasted more than 3 hours which went until 5 in the morning. Again, no one is really interested since the priest is just saying what seems to be nonsense in Sanskrit.

There are, however, fun moments in between the boring religious rituals. For instance, the groom arrives the bride's home on a chariot, but during the journey the whole groom's family is dancing and having fun. For another example, there is an interesting play with the sisters of the bride, called salis (in fact, her girl cousins/sisters). The groom's brothers (in fact, his boy cousins/brother) have to bargain with the salis in order to enter the bride's house. This involves paying some money to them. In my brother's wedding, however, it would have been more fun when the salis knew how to play better. They bsaically did not seem to realize that this is just a game and that they should quickly lower their demands. So the game got boring because we were trying all possible ways to reduced the entrance price and they just kept
asking for high amounts (they insisted for almost 20 minutes on the price of 51 thousand rupees, equivalent to thousand Euros!). A similar game repeats itself with the groom's shoes. At some point, we are supposed to hide his shoes, but in such a way that the salis must be able to find them. Once found, we are again supposed to bargain for recovering the shoes, so that the groom can step out of the party with them. Once again, the salis did not seem to realize that this is just a game. So at the end it was unfortunately not that much fun.

In the fifth day, it was basically a reception without no formalities (Ufa!). It was really nice since everyone were much more relaxed as the all logistics were over. Andrea and I had to go directly from the reception to the airport since our plane was scheduled early in the morning.

Although there are a lots of formalities and protocols in an Indian wedding, much has changed since the times of my parents for example. Then the couple did not have any saying, but rather their parents would basically force them to marry. On the hand, now couples decide whether or not they like each other and want to marry. Things like the caste system does not seem to be no longer relevant. For instance, from the Indian customs, my brother's wife, that comes from the "superior" caste of professors, would not be allowed to marry my brother that comes from the "inferior" caste of warriors.

My final impression is that Indian weddings lose a lot of time in the first part with the religious rituals, when they should maximize the second part with the party. It is almost certain that Andrea and I will attempt to do so. Nevertheless, it was really interesting to participate in such event, but more interesting to spend time with all my cousins and family folks.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Americans got it Right

One of my previous posts comments on several issues, such as environmental care, that I think the Americans got it wrong. In some sense, those were not that hard to point out after eight years of Bush and the very conservative policies that his government supported. It takes a bit more time, therefore, for an outsider to see or feel the bright side of American society. For me it took about six months. It happened while I was attending the memorial for Amir Pnueli in New York City. Since I went there alone and I did not know many people, I found myself one evening searching for a restaurant to eat alone. Ordering a table for only one person is kind of depressing, so it took me a bit of time to find the courage to enter in a NY restaurant where all tables are usually full of people. After walking for some time, I entered a sympathetic, friendly, French restaurant and ordered for a table. I ordered a glass of wine and while I was browsing the menu, a woman, at her mid 40s, stands on front of me and asks whether I am Indian. I respond that in fact I am Brazilian, and after some more small talk, she invites me to sit on her table together with some of her friends. It happens that she just came back from India and she loved it. However, when I joined them, I was facing a French woman that loved Brazil! She goes very often there and went to places that are still in my to-do list, such as Parati. We also shared our experiences in Fernando de Noronha, Bahia, Rio de Janeiro, etc. In summary, what seemed to be a lost and boring evening turned out to be a very enjoyable one.

Being approached by a complete stranger in any European country is something that is almost impossible. When she approached me, I felt that I was in Brazil where people do these kind of things. For instance, in Brazil, it is not very seldom that while one is waiting in a queue, one becomes the "best" friend of the following person. Definitely, this is an aspect that Americans got right. They are much more open to personal contact than Europeans.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The faith of a rationalist

In the past days I have been going through some of the texts of Bertrand Russel. Among them, I would like to suggest you his paper entitled "Why I am not a Christian and the faith of a rationalist". It outlines in a well-written way the main arguments for why religion and, in particular, Christianity are flawed and should not be taken as seriously as one does. Besides the well-known arguments against religion, such as the lack of evidence supporting god, he makes the following two points which are most interesting:

1) If you think that there is a difference between right and wrong, then you are faced with the following problem: if you think that this distinction was designed by god, then it is meaningless to say that god is good because he himself designed the rules for saying that something is good. Now, if you think that god is good, then you must admit that the rules defining right and wrong come from somewhere else. So, why do you need god?

2) Was Christ as described in the Gospels a wise man? In some aspects yes, but in many others no. There were much wiser men than Christ, for instance, Bertrand Russel himself is much wiser than Christ. Chirst for instance believed on hell. To believe on the idea that someone will be punished with the worst tortures for the rest of time just because he/she disagrees with some values does not seem to be very wise.

From my personal background, I could pose a similar question w.r.t. Krishna: was Krishna a wise man? It does not seem wise to believe that a person's duty (dharma) comes from the fact that he/she was born within a social class. In particular, Krishna tells Arjuna, the warrior prince that was in doubt to fight against his kin, that he should fight because he is a warrior, that is his duty. In that sense, Buddha seems a bit better since at least he acknowledges the problems of the caste system. Moreover, to my knowledge, Krishna did not say anything about the fact that the war would involve millions of "innocent" soldiers that served both armies.

Americans got it wrong

Dear all,

It has been a while (almost one and half years) since my last post. Much has changed in my life in the meantime. I graduated from Ecole Polytechnique, got engaged, and now I am a postdoctorate researcher at UPENN, Philadelphia, in the US, since last November.

After five years in Europe, I find the life in the US very different from the European one. The Americans have a very different set of values than the Europeans. One big difference, in my opinion, is that Americans do not know how to live. Let me give you a simple example: I often ask the graduate students at UPENN about their plans for Summer break, and all of them tell me about how they are searching for internships in companies or trying to find out some more extra classes to take. If I asked the same question to an European, most of them would tell me about their big plans of going to the beach or hiking, etc. In France, for instance, the whole country stops in August, that is, everyone is on vacations. When I tell this to any American, they tell me how impossible it would be even to think on asking his/her boss for a month leave.

Another aspect that differs very much from the European values is on environmental issues. This is specially shocking when coming from Germany which is one of the countries that best takes care of the environment. In the US it is really the opposite. There is basically no care for issues like recycling, saving energy or water, mass transportation, etc. For instance, the lights in my department stay on the whole time, even in weekends! The same happens in the building where I live. There is not even a timer that automatically turns off the lights after some time. Recycling in the US is also ridiculous. My building is one of the few that do something, but compared to any German home, it is really nothing. They only recycle old newspapers and magazines. They do not even have a slot for tin cans!

However, the worst aspect is not even the two above, but rather how they treat the poor. It is sad to see that in the richest and most powerful country in the world, there are people without teeth that cannot formulate correctly one sentence. You find people like that very often on the streets here in Philadelphia. They do not have access to hospitals, schools, basically nothing, while the upper class shows off their BMWs and big cars around. Given this situation, it is not hard to see how one can easily manipulate these fragile people with nationalistic propaganda or religious brainwashing. They are against issues which would clearly benefit them directly, such as health care. This contrasts with the situation in Europe: whenever there is any attempt to remove rights of, for example, the French people, they rise up. They are not easily manipulated because they are treated much better by the French society, although they do have their problems.

After five months in the US, I am really glad to discover that this is not where I want to be for the rest of my life, at least not if things continue like this. Europe may have its problems, e.g., xenophoby, but overall their values are much more compatible my values.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Modern Person?

Recently, Andrea brought to my attention a very curious way of Indians classifying a person as a modern person, what is not at all common in the western world. For an Indian, modern people are those that do not wear traditional Indian clothes, and that are more flexible towards traditions, such as dating or flerting, enjoying the nightlife, and other more "western" habits. As Indian society has not yet freed itself from religious/traditional habits, specially those traditions related to relationships before marriage and women suffrage, this classification is normal in India, but long forgotten in western cultures, where these movements happened one or two generations ago. That was indeed a very curious observation of cultural differences affecting language.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Working Holidays? Why work?

In the past three weeks, I was traveling through Australia, passing from Sydney, Alice Springs, in the center, and Cairns, to the east coast. As I was traveling alone, I prefered to stay in hostels, where is easier to meet people and enjoy more my stay. I met people from several nationalities, Germans, lots of them, French, Dutch, etc. What surprised me the most is that they are not ordinary backpackers, as those that we see in Europe and travel around for maybe 1-2 months. They were the so called Holiday-Workers, people that obtain a special visa and that are allowed to work, usually in blue collar jobs, and stay in Australia for longer periods, visiting the country. Though the idea seems interesting, I still did not understand why is this a good option, compared to the alternative of working in Europe and only then coming to Australia for a shorter period.

Each time I met one of these working-holiday students, I would ask why they do not just come for a short period, only for vacations. I obtained different answers: some would say that they come for the culture experience, what is not very convincing, since the Australian culture is not that different from the European and, moreover, with the jobs they do and the places they stay, they meet more Europeans than Australians; others said that they came here to save money for passing their universities later. What is also not very satisfying, since the living cost in Australia, specially the hostel rates, are very high, and I really doubt that the get some money out of this trip, when considering that they have to pay an expensive flight ticket.

I think the real reason for them to come here in hoards is a more basic one: independence. These holiday-workers are students that just finished their high school and are eager for "freedom" from their parents. They are constantly partying and getting wasted. What brings me to my point. Why work in Australia? Isn't it better to work in Europe and make short holidays there itself?

Friday, July 4, 2008

It is a matter of respect!

One does not need to search too far to find stupidity and foolishness out there. I've already given some examples in previous posts such as religion and extreme nationalism, but many more can be found in the same category: obedience to any authority, like to the state, to your boss and even to your parents. All of these examples have a common factor: respect. For example, people respect their priest, without even questioning if the respect is truly deserved.

Deserved. That is the key word, when I think about respect. To obtain my respect, one must deserve it, by demonstrating that he/she has noble thoughts and more importantly that he/she acts accordingly to those thoughts. There is no such thing as respect your boss, or respect your priest, or respect your parents, or respect the elder, etc. This is simply brainwashing, as in religion, or, as brilliantly put by Baltasar Gracian in his book: The art of prudence; people are just being prudent. For example, it is probably most of the cases that a soldier shows "respect" to his/her superior, so that he/she does not suffer any consequences such as punishments, or maybe having his/her career progression blocked.

In any of these cases, namely of brainwashing or of prudence, the respect given is not really a truely deserved respect. In the former case, brainwashing a person to respect something or someone is not really making him/her to think that respect derives from a logical reasoning of the merits of the respected person or object, but only from an almost dogmatic perspective. In the latter case, respect derives not necessarily from merit of the respected, but from the utilitarism of the one that respects. So the next time someone tells you to respect someone else, ask him why should you do so.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Paris for the Parisiens?

The past week, I received a visit from a very good Brazilian friend and as it was his first time in Paris, we did the whole Eiffel Tower, Champs Elyssee, Saint Michel, etc tourism. One of his comments that I found interesting was that the people he was seeing in the metro and other public places did not look very French. I immediately responded that he is completely right because the Parisiens are long far away for their holidays.

Most of the world knows Paris and would like to visit or live in Paris: La ville de l'amour! However, now that summer began and with that the student holidays, Parisiens are all away, leaving the hordes of tourist behind. Because of this invasion of tourists, Paris does not feel to be empty at all. The metro system is fuller than ever, as well as the streets and squares. I guess this is normal for touristic cities, such as Rome, Paris, London, etc.

This is very curious for a Brazilian because for vacations we usually go to the beach, leaving our cities completely empty. Furthermore, the people that are in the costal cities do not go to other cities but just overcrowd even more the restaurants and bars near the shore. So it is very seldom that a Brazilian city is full of people that do not live there.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

German Nationalism is Back

Before the last world cup, held in Germany, it was always a taboo for a German to show his nationalism, as this was considered almost as a Nazi tradition. For instance, when I arrived in Dresden three years ago, it was easier to find a person wearing a Brazilian shirt than a German one. However, after the football event, this taboo is surprisingly over and now because of the European championship (EC), you can see everywhere cars displaying proudly the German flags on city streets.

Though it is nice to see that this long lasting taboo is over, it still makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. There is clearly a segregation of the Turkish community in the German society. For example last Saturday when Portugal and Turkey opened the EC, it was surprising to see that most of the Germans that I saw were supporting Portugal and not Turkey. I cannot see any good reason for Germans to do so, other than their xenophobia towards the Turks. In Brazil, we usually cheer for the weaker team, or the team that is plays fair, or if there is community of that nationality living in Brazil, we support them. But this was not the case in this match, since Portugal is clearly one of the favorites for the title and as far as I know the Portuguese community in Germany in very small.

What makes me more afraid is that the Germans that were supporting for Portugal were not uneducated people, but university students. After the match, I asked some of them, why you do not cheer for your fellow Turkish? They immediately demonstrated their discrimination towards them, by saying that the Turkish community is terrible and low-class people. From where they got this idea is not very clear to me, but I could only think that in Hitler's time this was the same propaganda towards the Jews. I just hope that this uprising German nationalism is controlled by not following the examples of Germany's recent history.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Does anyone work in May?

Because of the presence of so many holidays, May is certainly a very unusual month in Europe. For instance, we are approaching the middle of the month and until now we had three holidays from which two coincidently fell on a Thursday resulting on a total of five holidays. Counting also the weekends, people actually worked only for three days!

Not that I am complaining, but since people have their vacations now in July and August, I begin to question the saying we have in Brazil that Brazilians have too many holidays. There are definitely less than in any European country.

P.S.: In France, things get even better. Here people already have every Friday afternoon free because of their 35 hours journey. (Vive la France:)

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The awful German language

Today I read a very funny and informative text from Mark Twain discussing the bad and good aspects of the German language -- more often the bad aspects. You can find the text here.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Passau -> Paradise (?!)

This week I am staying in Passau, a city in the southeast of Germany near the border to Austria, mostly known for being the place where the three rivers: Danube, Inn and Ilz join together. Many German cities are rather small and basically survive because of universities that attract many students. Passau is not different. Everywhere you see students passing with their backpacks or riding to class. However, after some time, one can notice in Passau something very different from other student towns in Germany: for each man there are 5 girls!

Since I come from an engineering school, where the proportions are exactly the opposite, I found myself in a very unfamiliar situation: studying at the university library surrounded only by girls! At a first moment, one might think that Passau is a paradise for men. However, soon after you stay and sit in the table and hear the conversations, you can realize that this environment is too "girly"! They are constantly talking about superfluous issues, like how the girl in the next table is dressing and so on. What leads me to my second observation: Girls in Passau are very well dressed. One thing that I noticed in the streets of Munich, Koln, Dresden, and other German cities that I visited is that, differently from Paris, girls do not take much care about their appearance. I am still trying to understand why there is this different line of thought here in Passau.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Richard Dawkins and Lawrence Krauss

It is not that common in the scientific community to find scholars that dedicate their precious time to the advertisement of science to the general public. Perhaps the most famous examples are Carl Sagan, Richard Feynman (definitely one must read his books :) and Stephen Hawking. Dawkins and Krauss are two, say, more recent examples of this sort of scientists. I've already written a bit about Richard Dawkins, an Oxford professor of evolution. Lawrence Krauss is a physicist at Stanford University, who seems to be very active in the US.

Today I saw a very enlightening and interesting debate among them. The format of the debate was also very different since there was no moderator, so they discussed freely about anything they wanted. They discussed from the beauty of science to social impacts of scientific education. One comment that I found very interesting is that, when discussing about morality, people tend to put science in a lower level with respect to religion. However, when there is a serious problem, such as an epidemic, people forget about what they previously said and resort to scientific methods. For instance, when there was the risk of an bird flue epidemic, the same government that allowed creationism to be taught in schools, discusses about the possibility of the virus to mutate, what would allow for it to contaminate humans, but does not discuss the possibility that the virus was created to destroy us.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Crazy Weather!

One of the worst of aspects of living in Europe is the weather. Today, for example, it was snowing, even though we are officially in spring. However, the worst is not the cold, since the houses here usually have a good heating system and to go outside it is enough to protect yourself well. The rain is terrible, specially because it affects my mood; more specifically, my working mood is completely destroyed. In the three winters that I've passed in Europe, this was definitely the most annoying; it was a constant period of light and cold rain. I just do not feel in the mood to work; at least not without some chemicals such as chocolate or coffee (the Illy version of the latter is the best; thanks to Andrea :).

Today, after four doses! of coffee, I've written some pages, and for that I am glad, but I seriously hope that spring comes soon!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Amazing Chomsky

Today I watched a documentary about Noam Chomsky called Rebel without phase (available in youtube), containing several of his interviews about, among other subjects, politics, culture, society and history. Chomsky is amazing for several reasons: he is arguably the most important linguistic in our history; despite of his scientific and scholar duties, he is an active peace and political activist; for instance, since the 60s he continuously criticizes American foreign policies and American society; it is unbelievable the amount of knowledge he has and how much he reads to keep him updated; for example he reads per day an average of six newspapers and per month about eighty journals! But what II found the most amazing about him is that, with his very calm tone, he is able to enlighten an audience about any issue, never mind how polemic it is, with a flawless reasoning based on well constructed arguments and illustrative examples.

I leave the suggestion: Noam Chomsky!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Xenophobia in Europe

It is tragic to see an increase of aversion towards foreigners in Europe. Just to see what extreme right wing candidates say and how much support they have is really disappointing in the so called civilized continent. After some time in Europe and staying for some time in three different European countries: Germany, Portugal and France, I could see that Xenophobia may come from completely different reasons:

1) In Germany, the hostility towards foreigners, specially the Turkish community, comes mostly from the unemployed, lower class Germans that think that foreigners are stealing their jobs.

2) In Portugal, there is clear the separation between Portuguese, Brazilian and Africans. The Portuguese still regard Brazilians better than Africans because Brazilians, specially in the last years, come to Portugal in more "respected" positions; for instance as Dentists, in Marketing positions; while the Africans have the less paid jobs like maids, electricians, plumbers, etc.

3) In France, it is not really more an employment issue than a class issue. More than two hundreds years after the French revolutions (1st and 2nd), the French society values more class and etiquette than education and qualification. This is why in Paris everyone is so well dressed; they want to be part of the aristocracy. So differently from Germany and Portugal, the origin of the French Xenophobia is not from economic reasons, but from cultural/historical one: the French higher class still believe that they have a different blood: le sang bleu.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Stereotypes

This week in my French class, we were discussing about the different misconceptions (just a note, curious to see how many words in English come from French: mis = put) and stereotypes different people have from each other. For instance, my French professor said that French think all Brazilians wear only havaianas and stay at the beach surrounded by mulatas in strings. Later, I commented that Brazilians think that French are not very hygienic; for instance we often say, when someone does not take shower but only puts perfume, that he/she took a French bath. My professor was really surprised to hear about this.